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Retirement
"My
worst day on the course still beats my best day at the office"
It is time I stepped aside for a
younger and less capable man
Happy Retirement! Time to go hit some
balls and stop busting ours!
Gone golfin' .... back by dark-thirty
Born to
Golf - Forced to Work
My body is
here, but my mind has already teed off.
"Golf
is a day spent in strenuous idleness" William
Wordsworth
I've spent
most of my life golfing ... the rest I've just wasted
My company gave me this putter but I
can't remember why
This is the last time we'll give you
the "shaft"!
"Old
executives don't retire, they just putter around"
"Old Doctors don't retire, they just putter around"
"I
would rather play golf and break even, than work hard and come out
ahead" Mike Donald
"Work
is the thing that interferes with golf" Frank Dane
40thBirthday
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50thBirthday
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60thBirthday
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Birthday
"May
you live long enough to shoot your age" Old English Golfing
Toast
Quiet! Senior Citizen Putting
Happy
Birthday from the one who loves your strokes!
"Golf's
a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the
playthings of childhood" Samuel Johnson
"The
game of life isn't over 'til the last putt drops" Sam Snead (paraphrased)
To the guy that makes my heart putter!
Old golfers
never die...they just lose their balls
Convalescence
Hope you're up and puttin'
around real soon!
Friendship "The
friends you make on the golf course are the friends you make for
life" J. Valentine
Sex My
Big Woodie
"What
is there in life but golf and girls?" Jim Colbert
"Golf
is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes
off" Chi Chi Rodriguez
"Golf
& sex are the only things that you can enjoy without being good at
it" J. Demaret
"Golf
is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs: you know it's wrong but
you can't keep away from her" Val
Doonican
Marriage "If
I had to choose between my wife and my putter? Well, I'd miss
her" Gary Player
Alcohol "If
you drink, don't drive ... don't even putt!" Dean Martin
"Never
putt until the hole stops moving" Bruce Lansky
Putting Real
golfers don't miss putts - they get robbed " Dick Emmons
All
aspects of this putter are fully guaranteed, with the exception of the
operator" Angus MacKay
"Even
God Has To Practice His Putting" Old
Golf Saying
" The
reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing" Phyllis Diller
"A
gimme is an agreement between two guys who can't putt." Jim Bishop
"Nice
Putt, Alice"
Half
of golf is fun. The other half is putting" Peter Dobereiner
Presented
to The World's Worst Putter
"My
favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt" Lord Robertson
The
Ol' "Billy Barue" Caddy Shack
Valentines Day To
the guy that makes my heart putter
Happy
Valentines Day from the one who loves your strokes!
Christmas Stolen
from Santa's Bag
To
the guy that makes my heart putter
Merry
Christmas from the one who loves your strokes!
Philosophy "The
same people who gave us golf and called it a game also gave us
bagpipes and called it music"
"Golf
is the worst damn fun anybody ever had" Cy Manier
"They
call it golf because the other four-letter words were
taken" Raymond Floyd
"It
is almost impossible to remember how tragic this world is when one is
playing golf" Robert Lynd
"Some
of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf
courses" Adlai Stevenson
"All
I've got against golf is that it takes you so far from the
clubhouse." Erik Linklater
"Golf
is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which
to be bad" A.A. Milne
"Golf
is the Lord's punishment for man's sins" James Reston
"If
God didn't want man to have mulligans, balls wouldn't come three to a
sleeve" Dan Jenkins
Fathers World's
Greatest Dad
Mothers World's
Greatest Mom
Grandfathers World's
Greatest Grandpa
General To
the guy that makes my heart putter
From
the one who loves your strokes!
